400 jars of mayo or a new laptop

Congress just announced that they are passing the economic stimulus bill. That means that you will be getting a check in June for $1,200 from the government. The idea is that you will spend the money, thus sending the economy propelling up into the heavens. Far be it for me to question the most powerful former baseball team owner in the world, but I don’t get it. Giving someone $1,200 to spend seems like a bad idea long term. The problem is that Americans don’t save. Basically the plan doesn’t work if we choose to save, invest, or donate the money. Saving, investing, and donating are the things that we Americans need help with.
Therefore, I have decided to do exactly what Sammy Sosa’s former boss says. I will spend the money. I have put together a list of things on which you could spend your $1,200 ($600 if you are single. It might be a good idea to find someone that is willing to marry you…soon). It really doesn’t matter what you spend your money on. You could go to Target, buy 5 cartloads full of stuff and burn it. You are helping the economy.
Here is the list
  1. 400 jars of Hellmann’s Mayo
  2. MacBook
  3. 1,200 junior bacon cheeseburgers from Wendy’s
  4. 48 bags of Monkey Picked Tea
  5. 3.48 annual memberships to the bacon of the month club
  6. 100 copies of What Your Dad Never Taught You About Budgeting
  7. Waste your money wisely. Your country is depending on you. This plan may work, but are we constantly going to just put patches over huge holes?
-Pete the Cynic

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