New Technology Allows You To Spend Money With Your Eyes

Tampa, FL – Do you think that dress would look perfect on you? If so, you may be able to purchase it soon by simply looking at the sales clerk. Retina Schmetna Technology Inc., a St Petersburg, FL based technology company, has created a technology that allows consumers to fully complete a purchase by looking at the cash register.

“We are pretty excited to get this into the hands, err eyes, of consumers,” says Gerry Importante, CEO of Retina Schmetna. “At first there were lines of credit, then credit cards, then key fobs, and recently people were able to spend money using their smartphones. We think that this is the next big thing in lulling consumers into financial mistakes. We are very excited.”

Mr. Importante is correct, payment technology is one of the fastest growing industries in America. Last year alone, 246 new payment technology firms sprung up across America. “It’s a race,” says Marcos Domina, professor of Consumer Ignorance at Portsmouth College of Daytona Beach. “Corporate America has never been blind to the fact that Americans have stopped giving a crap. This new technology really harnesses this apathy, and makes it even more powerful.”

Retailers are excited about the possibilities. “We have this one woman that comes into our store every Wednesday, and this technology will be perfect for her,” offers Kimmy Gilbert, clerk at Tampa based Scarves International. “The woman seems normal, but occasionally she gets this crazy-ass look in her eyes when we update the clearance rack. This tool will allow us to fully take advantage of her lack of self-control.”

But critics of this technology point to it’s dangers. Peter Dunn (also knows as Pete the Planner), who describes himself as a financial gadfly, says that this technology is just another example of people trying to trick themselves. “I don’t like it. In fact, I don’t like credit card key fobs, being able to buy coffee with your cell phone, or willful financial ignorance.” Dunn, often described by industry insiders as a “buzz kill”, says that he hopes that people pull their head out of their asses and start paying attention to their future. “I think that people need to realize that just because spending money has gotten more convenient, doesn’t mean that you should take advantage of every single technology. For instance, I own a Thighmaster, but I don’t own an Ab-Blaster. You need to make choices. That’s what it’s all about.”

Only time will tell. We’ll see.

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